Proverbs 31 Woman…Eww
Who hasn’t heard about the ‘Proverbs 31 Woman’?
If you are a Christian, you have likely heard applause for the ‘Proverbs 31 Woman’. Or a female Christian talking about wanting to aspire to the ‘Proverbs 31 Woman’. Once upon a time, I didn’t like the idea of Proverbs 31. In fact I hated it. It was bad enough that my parents attempted to make my sister and I memorize from verses 10 to 31.
As the self-proclaimed feminist I was, the idea of such a woman just didn’t sit right with me. In my opinion, the scripture laid a lot of emphasis on a life of subservience. This was not a concept I subscribed to. Maybe it was the way the scripture was presented. Maybe it was just my viewpoint at that time. Regardless, it portrayed a worldview that always fashioned women in the light of a mother or a wife, and was a deviation from the freedom that feminism vouched for.
Becoming a Follower of Christ
As I grew in my faith, I knew whatever thoughts I had had to align to the word of God. It’s something that I think most people cringe about Christianity, and even most Christians don’t grasp. The idea that accepting Jesus as your Lord, makes Him Lord over every area of your life. He is Lord over ideologies that contradict His word and purposes. I have never seen this lordship as a method of oppression, because I know He is a good God. His intentions are not only the wisest, but they also have the best outcome.
In the bid to try and align I settled for a milder form. The idea of choice feminism then seemed like an acceptable compromise to me since it seeks to embrace women’s freedom of choice; that was whether a woman chose to wear make-up or not, or live by traditional standards or not. But even that is criticized by some, as the privilege of choice is not afforded by all. Therefore, even the consolation of choice feminism is not enough to then transform feminism into some acceptable form that aligns with more biblical values.
As mentioned in the previous section there was a great emphasis on a woman being a wife and a mother. Why did one of the few scriptures that described a woman, box her into the designated roles of society? What I didn’t understand then, was that while it may describe a woman who is a wife and mother, the scripture presents good qualities that any should aim to have – diligence, industrious, hard-working. Not everyone will get married, or will bear their own children, but that doesn’t mean the whole scripture should be disregarded.
Why It Was Hard To Let Go
This topic is so dear to me is because I have seen my mind being liberated from viewing myself as a victim to patriarchy. Heck before Christ, I saw shackles on the Proverbs 31 Woman. Your perspective on things is only a reflection of what you first believe and feminism sometimes has a way of making women not only seem like victims but arm themselves to fight the next man.
It took me a while to dissociate myself from the ideology of feminism. It seems damning in this age to even admit it. How can you not be a feminist? Not being a feminist doesn’t mean disregarding the challenges of some women. Among all the problems that women face, one of the things which infuriate me is gendered violence. I told myself that a part of me had to be a feminist, in order for me to support this issue I was so passionate about.
I watched a video where Candace Owens was speaking to a feminist. What Candace said was simple, but revolutionary to me. You can support women who face gendered violence without labeling yourself as a feminist. Think of the other more nuanced problems peculiar to women: child marriage or female genital mutilation. All of these problems can be supported and denounced without the pressure of being labeled as a feminist.
This was liberating to say the least; because feminism has morphed into various ideals that are in direct opposition to what the word of God says. Whether it is the advocacy for lasciviousness, abortion, transgenderism or trampling the value of men, modern feminism perverts the intention of women in society as designed by God. As a believer, it is so important to question what we’re believing.
Freedom
I like to believe I am less agitated. I am not quick to view situations from the lens of women being victimized.
All this is to show the kind of transformation that has taken place, to see the Proverbs 31 Woman differently. What my feminist mind then believed to be a domesticized slave, has been renewed to see a diligent woman who is happy to serve not only her family, but society at large. I see her wisdom and intentionality ooze over her preparedness for the day and the future. I see a woman who can be trusted by her husband, to be his rest in any season of life. I see a woman capable of multiplying the resources she has to gain wealth for her family. And where does this ability come from? A woman who fears the Lord: that is her source of strength.
I think it’s difficult to fear the Lord, and choose to walk in opposition to His ideals and values. Maybe you’re like me, and were once sucked into the world of feminism. Don’t get me wrong though. I can’t deny the initial benefits that have accrued as a result of it, but still not being oblivious to some of its repercussions. Remember, you can empathize and support the struggles of women, without aligning to the ideology of feminism.
Not every woman will struggle with this ideology, especially when you don’t consume a lot of content that affirms it. I did a great deal and saw how I was living below who God had called me to be. Today, I am proud to say I aspire to be a Proverbs 31 Woman, with Hands Lifted High. I think you should too.