I don’t know if you’ve been there, but I sure know I have – the moments when you ask God to prove something to you, through some kind of physical sign. “Oh Lord, please give me a sign to know if I should go on a date with Kofi”. Or, oh Lord, if this job is for me, let the next car that passes honk three times consecutively.
I guess it’s the doubting Thomas in most of us – our minds cannot comprehend some reality unless we see a physical representation. Interestingly enough, the kind of confirmation that you’re seeking through a physical sign, is oftentimes revealed through some other ‘sign’. I am going to be bold and say that there is always some physical assurance that follows. The events of this past Saturday have proven so to me, and just pondering over what this means for my faith has shown that God doesn’t leave you, never leaves you, even in your shaky faith. Cue in events from Saturday.
Saturday’s Realization
I was about to minister a spoken word piece and a bout of fear and nerves hit. Tried as I could to turn those nerves into a feeling of excitement, I couldn’t and was still very anxious, thinking that I would blank out. In a moment of fear, I asked for a sign from the Lord to show that He was with me, indeed. I caught myself the minute I formulated that thought. Why must I see something physically to know a promise that God already assured hundreds of years ago. Even then, the first verse that came to me as a ‘sign’ for the assurance, was from Matthew 28:30:
Teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.
Right after hearing this verse, a rebuke also followed from Matthew 12:39:
But he answered them, “An evil and adulterous generation seeks a sign, but no sign will be given to it except the sign of the prophet Jonah”.
The focus here was, ‘an evil and adulterous generation seeks a sign’. I felt terrible that that was my first thought – to seek a sign – and not solely rely on the integrity of God’s word which He has kept true, time and time again. Why wasn’t my first thought to think back on what the Bible has said to His children?
The Problem
The reason why such an approach is problematic is because you are choosing how to summon a King. God is our king, and He shows up how He pleases and when He pleases. By requesting a specific way for Him to show up, you’re essentially telling a king to do something according to how you – a servant – deems to be fit. While it is not impossible for God to honor such a request, instances like those are an exception; not the rule. Because He is a merciful God, there are times when He can honor such a request, but even then, it’s because He chose to do not because you simply asked Him too.
As a King, how He chooses to show up is entirely up to him. As His servant, your role is to accept how He chooses to show up.
The funny thing is, I had never seen a problem with laying out a fleece until Saturday. For those who don’t know what putting out a fleece is, it originates from the story of Gideon in Judges 6, where he wanted a sign to prove what God had said. Gideon asked for specific signs from God, because he was filled with fear and wanted to be overly sure that God had given him certain instructions to fight the Midianites. While Gideon’s story shows the extent of God’s mercy and patience with our wavering faith, it sure doesn’t serve as an example for us to model after.
Like Gideon, even if God had given me a sign, I would have still doubted and asked for yet another one. Such circumstances actually reveal the state of our hearts more so than the character of God – our hearts doubt the power and truthfulness about God.
His Word is More Than Enough
There is a deeper level of knowing and intimacy that comes with knowing that the voice of God is enough assurance. Apart from the tailored words that He may offer us, as a way of encouragement, rebuke or guidance – the Bible should be enough assurance for all that He said. A large part of why I for example, may run into this recurring conundrum of desiring some physical sign, is because the process of moving head knowledge to the heart is tasking. Such things are never meant to be easy – sometimes I would rather not try. But what’s the consequence of this – a stunted life that is not pleasing to God because without faith it is impossible to please God. It is a fight for endurance, where you will sometimes fall, and sometimes remain standing. It is not an easy process; but it is a necessary process.
The Bible is the best source of truth and guidance for a believer. To want more, in the form of physical manifestations, is a blatant display of distrust in what God has said. There is a reason why our faith was established simply by hearing God (faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God). The power of words, especially words from God, is a truth that we have to ingrain into our hearts. Why? Because He has continually proved the faithfulness of His word – through the prophecy of His very son, the formation of our world and the evidence of a changed heart; you.
As the hymn ‘Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus’ says, O for grace to trust Him more. And for more grace we plead for, with Hands Lifted High.