The Secret You Need to Know About Women and Submission

‘Never tell a man he is right’.

I can’t remember what question I was answering for our high school yearbook. However, I do recall that this statement was my response. I also don’t remember if I was joking or meant it, but considering how I viewed gender then, I probably meant it. My response was tightly linked to how I viewed women and submission. That word made me cringe, and quite frankly angered me. Submission. I didn’t see how it was a requirement to be accepted as a proper woman, since it robbed women of their autonomy and rendered them powerless; it rendered me powerless.

Today marks International Women’s Day, a day to celebrate the ‘social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women’. Women and submission go together the way salt and pepper do. Inseparable. The word submission means a woman is ready to lie prostrate for a man to stride across her back with no consequences and definitely without any complaint from the woman.

The examples from my society also fed into this point of view because all I saw displayed was the toxic dynamic of power in marriages. The popular words in church that will be hammered again and again were, ‘wives submit to your own husbands’.  I thought I should forget about the fantasy of marriage since it would rob me of my independence. Submitting to another man’s son was not something I was prepared to do anyway. I concluded that submission was a bad word which I never wanted to see associated with women.

A Renewed Mind

I really struggled to see myself as an equal, because equality is what women were fighting for anyway, right? The word submission speaks of anything but equality.

So I thought.

After finally accepting the truth of Christ, I knew what I thought was a problem. I desired marriage, a godly marriage at that, but what the Bible said was at war with what I knew. Would I ever have a happy marriage then?

With the help of the Holy Spirit I started shifting my perspective. Though my outlook on women is still being taken through the process of renewal, I am grateful for how far I have come. I need you to follow me closely now because this liberated my mind from the perception I had of women and what they were meant to represent.

The Fall and the Woman’s Role

In the creation story, found in Genesis 1, ‘God created human beings in his own image…male and female he created them’. After this that he gave them the command to be fruitful and multiply and govern all parts of the earth. In chapter 2, man (the male species) is formed physically because God noticed that there was no one to cultivate the land. While the male is tended to this business, he is given ‘a helper who is just right for him, the female species’.

Fast forward, a serpent comes to deceive the female. She was convinced that the forbidden fruit was good for her. This deception leads her to give some to her husband who also ate. When God discovers what they have done, they are driven out of the garden. The serpent, woman and man, are each meted out their own measure of suffering. Though this is all for God’s glory with an expected end in mind.

For the woman God says, ‘And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you’.

A Woman’s Strength and Submission

Women possess more power than we think. Though other passages in the Bible show that the woman is the ‘weaker vessel’ since she was the one deceived by the serpent, she equally holds levels of power that allowed her husband Adam, to be deceived alongside her. Therefore, because of this power that women have over men, it is necessary for it to be constrained.

To ensure that women don’t lord this power over men, the command of submission becomes paramount. God’s desire is always to protect and fulfill purpose. He does this through His commands of love. By letting women be submissive to men, it protects the purpose that God places within marriage. It is important to note that the purpose of submission is only, necessitated between a man and a wife. It is not between a woman and every other man.

In the Garden of Eden, both men and women were given a purpose, but through deception it was toppled. God always provides solutions to implement and restore order and purpose, and this commandment to women, I believe is one of them.

The power and importance of submission is seen through the life of Jesus Christ where ‘He did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped…he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death’ (Philippians 2:6-8). Jesus Christ’s submission ultimately led to the redemption of humanity. It is beautiful to see the power of submission result in something so useful and redemptive. I am not equating the deity of Christ to the power of women over men, but rather showcasing the concept of submission and its role in maintaining purpose.

Submission and Love

The book that is popularly referenced to talk about women being submissive to their husbands, is Ephesians. In chapter 5, just before the portion on wives and husbands,  it establishes the acceptable characteristics of the people in Ephesus. One of them is, ‘submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ’. Therefore the concept of submitting to another person should not feel so alien. It is simply an act of love. As the Bible says, love does not insist on its way.

Submission is not a method used to demean a woman, usurp her identity or crown her as inferior and subhuman. Like almost everything that God establishes, the evil of this world seeks to perverse it. It is no wonder that patriarchal figures twist this to suit and satisfy their desire for power, authority and sex. If patriarchal figures diligently follow the very same portion in Ephesians which talks about how they are to love and give themselves up for their women, our society will not be filled with the perception that women are anything less than equal with men. Women have been given a different assignment from their male counterparts. However, this does not disregard their equality with a man in God’s eyes.

Both sexes only need to allow God’s original design of action to guide them. If they do, we would see that God’s design is indeed good. So on this International Women’s Day, let your stance on how women are called to submit to their husbands, receive the light of God.  Submission is an act of love which is only possible to embrace with Hands Lifted High.