Singles Don’t Get Enough Love

Before you come for me for even writing this, hear me out. 

Love is great. Who doesn’t love love? (I could almost see the people who don’t, but let’s just assume that everyone does). We love love so much that the offer of marriage is always on the table. Marriage is supposed to be something that everyone aspires to. Particularly in our culture, not being married as a man or a woman, but ESPECIALLY AS A WOMAN, is a damnable thing. The absence of marriage and its desire thereof, is purported to reek of incompetency and illness. Anyone who doesn’t want to get married is quickly likened to having a part of their brains malfunctioning.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with desiring marriage. But there is a problem when society makes the choice of singleness a problem. Most importantly, pursuing singleness as a Christian.

The Bible’s Take on Singles

Apostle Paul has a special place in his heart for singles – maybe even some kind of bias. He mentions that it is good for single people to remain as he is (a single unbothered man). He is not stating that it is a sin or wrong to get married. Rather, he is laying out the additional benefits that come with being single and unmarried. He emphatically states, ‘if you do marry you have not sinned’. In line with the life of the unmarried, 1 Corinthians 7 is a persuasive rhetoric to encourage the unmarried to stay unmarried. His reason being, ‘those who marry will face many troubles in this life’.

Notwithstanding, the Bible frowns upon people who deny people from marrying and likens such a teaching to false doctrine (1 Timothy 4:3). It is a good thing to get married. But, it is also an equally good thing to stay single and unmarried. Singlehood was created by God and so was the institution of marriage.

Why Singlehood is Equally Important

I have always believed that not everyone is called to the ministry of marriage. I find this specific topic interesting because I recently finished reading a book, This Momentary Marriage, by Pastor John Piper. He had a whole section dedicated to the life of singlehood which was really interesting for me. He laid out the importance of valuing singlehood as much as marriage and I couldn’t agree more.

The major advantage of singlehood is the undivided attention you can give to the affairs of the Lord. Unlike the married who are concerned about how they can please their spouse, the single person is free from such concerns.

The primary focus of every believer is first to be concerned about the matters of the body of Christ. The Kingdom of God is the single most important thing to God. But it is easier for married people to lose sight of that. It is not impossible for a married person to be only concerned about the Lord’s affairs. However, it is harder to keep a loose grip even on marriage, and thus letting that be your main focus.

Even though Paul shows how the unmarried can easily be dedicated to God (1 Corinthians 7: 32 – 35) , in the verses just above (29-31), he writes that we should concern ourselves about eternity more. ‘Those who have wives should live as if they do not’ is a caution to keep a light touch on earthly things. It’s why who you marry is important. Your spouse should propel you into the forefront of your preparation for eternity.

Called to Singleness

I believe it is common to equate a single person to one who lives sexually free and possibly on the promiscuous side.The pursuit of singleness is not a substitute to live a life that destroys the temple of God. The lack of commitment to one person, is not a substitute for the lack of commitment to God. It is rather a special opportunity and calling to have unrestricted devotion to God and God alone.

It would be beautiful to see people more accepting of others who willingly pursue singleness. What if singleness is meant to be more than a season for some people? Would we question God’s goodness towards such people? I think not. Some believers can really make it seem as though everyone should be married. However, based on the evidence from the Bible I find it pointless to follow that same thought pattern. In this pursuit of sanctification and advancement of the kingdom of God, we would each be called to do different things. Marriage is a blessing, but not the pinnacle of blessings. Singlehood is equally a blessing that can be accepted as a call for greater devotion to God, with Hands Lifted High.

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Thoughts

Let me know what you think! Do you think there is an obsession with marriage? Why? How do you view people who choose to be single but live a godly life?