I wanted to replicate what I saw in The First Time.
By my mid-teens I was watching all kinds of movies and series. One of them made a significant impact on me, and how I viewed relationships and intimacy. It was The First Time. I loved that movie so much! It was a rom-com and it had one of my favorite actors at the time – Dylan O’Brien. When I say he was an all-time crush, phew, I mean it. It was around the same time that Teen Wolf was popular and I loved everything that Dylan featured in.
This movie was about a high school senior, Dave, who was in love with his best friend, a girl he couldn’t have. Aubrey, a high school junior at another school, randomly meets Dave one night and they have an instant connection. However, Aubrey already had an older boyfriend, but they didn’t seem to be a good match. Over the course of the weekend, they discover what it’s like to fall in love for the first time, and all the things associated with it.
I associated ‘first love’ with the ‘first time’. In the movie Aubrey and Dave discovered what it was like to be in love for the first time, but that instantly became synonymous with being with someone intimately, in the name of ‘first love’. I desired that for myself. I wanted the kind of instant connection with someone who peaked my intellectual curiosity; where we would instantly click, have our first kiss in a dimly lit room, and sparks would fly everywhere.
Media’s Role in Beliefs
I concluded that it was okay to have sex with someone, as long as you were in love with that person. I genuinely thought it wasn’t a big deal. Besides, that was the narrative portrayed countlessly, and what I let my eyes feast on. However, at the time that I reached that conclusion, my mind was in a very vulnerable state, desperate for love.
By virtue of what I saw, I bought into a concept that is deceptive and destructive.
This was probably not the only movie that perpetuated this norm, but it sure was a favorite that influenced what I wanted. We can become attached to things that we watch, that may not be representing godly concepts. Given that we have a strong affinity for them, we may gloss over the damage the message is perpetuating.
Media, especially movies, tend to propagate messages that appear so subliminal. In the beginning it appears to be ‘just a movie’, until you start acting out and believing what is being sold. If you don’t have a fortified mind that is grounded in truth, you will become prey. I know I did.
Not everyone will be affected by certain things they watch by the mere fact that each person has their own battle to overcome. I know everyone has their own battles to overcome. Yours may or may not look like mine, but the state and strength of your mind will determine the extent to which you can be swayed by what you watch. Personally, I have accepted and taken the approach that my mind is weak.
Take Heed Lest You Fall
There are a bunch of series and movies that I have started but end up stopping, because they weren’t beneficial to me. Sexually charged movies/series infiltrate my mind and as a believer who is trying to disentangle my thoughts from lust, staying away from such movies is the least I can do. I no longer tempt myself by saying it’s ‘just a movie’. I won’t do myself hard girl and trip myself up to think that ‘this small scene’ won’t affect me. In the moments that I have let myself think this, I have paid the consequence.
Honestly, you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. I would rather admit that my mind is weak, than try to watch and then fall. Admitting your weakness is the first step to receiving strength. When the Bible says, let the weak say I am strong, there is a realization of weakness that grants access to strength.
Of course we are free to do all things, as Apostle Paul proclaims, but it is not a gateway to allow sin to be captive over our lives. Is what you’re watching making you commit a sin, no matter how ‘small’ you think that sin may be?
Apart from sexually charged messages in movies/series, there are many other messages that are portrayed that can affect your mind and walk with Christ. That can take the form of twisting the gospel of Christ, witchcraft, or encouraging drunkenness. 13 Reasons Why, for example, made me think of all the times that I had been betrayed by friends or exes and it led my mind to a depressive place, where I felt hopelessness for all relationships.
Look and Live
One of the YouTube channels I have grown to love it Little Light Studios. They talk about a whole bunch of themes that are portrayed in Hollywood movies, that we should be mindful of as believers. You should definitely check them out!
It’s important to examine yourself and be honest with what you watch as entertainment. For example, asking yourself if what you’re watching is feeding your mind negatively. Asking questions such as:
- Is it feeding into a sin I am trying to overcome?
- Is it leading to thoughts and ideals that are contrary to biblical truth?
- Am I being prompted to not watch it?
Do some introspection on the things you’re watching and deliberate on its effect on you. I promise if you think deeply about what you’re watching and the possible ramifications, you will be able to identify something that isn’t helping you. Sometimes you get an urge that you shouldn’t continue watching something. Don’t ignore that small voice; it is a saving voice that cares deeply about what you feed your soul.
Some of the things we watch can be catastrophic for our everyday decision making. They ultimately deaden us further, casting us further into strongholds over our lives. But we need no more than to look to Jesus and live, with Hands Lifted High.