Love Has More to Do with Waist Beads Than You Think

Mercy told me that my waist beads were juju.

It was normal for all the girls to change communally after every swimming class. Being the extremely shy girl I was in the third grade, I stood at the locker that wasn’t conspicuous. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself, so I begun to change at the speed of light. I was already bigger than most of the girls in my class, so the cloak of insecurity had already settled in. However, what I called big, my mother characterized as ‘round and fluffy’.

I was almost done changing, but I wasn’t fast enough that day. I would typically remove my waist beads before going for swimming class, and put them back on when I changed into my school uniform. Mercy turned towards me and asked if my waist beads were juju. I was stunned, hurt and angry. I looked down on her because my mother said it helped in shaping a woman. As far as I was concerned Mercy was as straight as a ruler.

When I got home that day, I removed the accessory that my mother had periodically fixed on me since I was one year old. I didn’t wear them for almost eight years because of that one comment. My mother, being the inquisitive person that she is, noticed I had removed them and asked why. I told her that I had grown tired of them.

Views of Waist Beads

There are multiple views on waist beads. I was taught that it was supposed to be hidden and was worn by women to help sculpt their figures. Some view it as a tool, used to denote the sensuality of women and adopted to entice men. Others add different kinds of crystals to evoke assistance in different ailments. There are some who render special attention to the bead colors that are chosen because they believe it conveys a meaning, as it strongly tied to spirituality.

I personally love it, considering it is also a great indicator for weight gain or loss. Nonetheless, it has led me to have a tumultuous relationship with it. It’s not fun seeing the beads rise up against my torso as a clear indication for my weight gain. I then wonder why I subject myself to such torture. 

As time progressed, I also started forming bittersweet views on it, because of how others perceived it. I thought my viewpoint on it was universal; an accessory which made me feel feminine and a tool used to weight check. However, I learned that others saw it from a sensual and spiritual lens, and I thought I had to detach myself from that notion.

It is important to continually assess the reason behind everything we do, think or feel. As a Christian it is even more important because we are asked to examine ourselves to see whether we are in faith (2 Corinthians 13:5). It’s important because it shows a posture that is intent on aligning to the person God has called us to be.

Is It Wrong To…?

I then wondered, ‘Is it wrong to wear waist beads’?

Such questions remind me of 1 Corinthians 8. The short chapter explores the comparison in the rightness of eating food offered to idols. The basis of this comparison can be seen in the modern adoption of waist beads, where some people wear it innocently without the power of spirituality. Others, on the other hand, have associated more power to it.

Waist beads are a singular scenario. But, I believe this can be applied to many things we decide to adopt. I hold 1 Corinthians 8 dear when pondering on the ‘rightness’ of something. The chapter shows the contrast between the knowledge of defilement from food and causing another believer to stumble because of this knowledge.

Love and Conscience

Two words stick out to me in this chapter: love and conscience.

There are things that we have adopted, that some of us may not view wrongly or as a sin because of our motive and understanding. I don’t wear waist beads with a spiritual intent, and so I don’t see it as a sin. To me. However, another believer may have been exposed to it from a spiritual lens. As a result, they would wear it from that lens. This is when their weak conscience becomes defiled (guilty or ashamed). My liberty of choosing, because of the knowledge I have, should not become temptation to sin to the weak.

The chapter above warns us that as long as another believer stumbles because of our belief, we have caused that believer’s conscience to be defiled . As a result, we have puffed up our knowledge and disregarded love. Love is the driving force behind the life of a believer. Anything done that is devoid of it, disobeys the command to love our neighbor as ourselves.

This means that our actions must not cause another believer to stumble. We also shouldn’t be encouraging someone to do something that they think is wrong, because that is sinning against Christ. Therefore, if wearing beads causes another believer to sin, I will never wear it again. Seeing that it could cause them to stumble.

Waist beads are only an example. But, there could be other things you hold dearly. If we can’t let go of something, though it can cause someone else to sin, we should ask ourselves whether that thing could be an idol.

Are we able to hold back our choices and freedom, for the love we have for our brothers/sisters in Christ, in order to preserve their conscience and not lead them to sin? 

Not Your Own

This post is not to demonize waist beads. It is simply a case study in understanding that our choices and actions are not just for our pleasure based on our knowledge. As Christians we are called to be conscious about how our lives affect other believers. In the last verse of the chapter, Paul says he would never eat meat again if it will cause another believer to stumble (1 Corinthians 8:13). That is the extent to which we should consider others!

You may or may not hate to hear this, but you are not your own. Everything that we are, think and do, is now fashioned by the King. It’s a privilege to serve Him and that is serving Him with every inch of our being. I know for a fact it is not easy to constantly consider the state of others. However, the very spirit of Jesus Christ, is who has been deposited into us to assist and lead, because by our own strength, we cannot. 

There will be moments when considering others will be burdensome. It is also in those moments when we can cry for help with our Hands Lifted High.

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Verses

2 Corinthians 13:5 ESV – Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you? – unless indeed you fail to meet the test!

1 Corinthians 8:13 NLT – So if what you eat causes another believer to sin, I will never eat meat again as long as I love – for I don’t want to cause another believer to stumble.