I first saw a nonspeaking autistic child years ago, when my mum and sister went to a friend’s birthday party. While everyone played around the pool, my friend’s older brother stood out. He didn’t mingle with the rest of us, or play tag with us. He simply moved around us, mumbling to himself and laughing hysterically in given moments. At one point he moved frantically which caused a bit of a scare from the guests. I couldn’t tell if his sister was embarrassed, but she looked uncomfortable. This would be the one of the first moments when the reality of pain and suffering would strike me.
Re-encountering Autism
Autism spectrum disorder is a brain development disorder that affects how a person perceives and socializes with others, causing difficulties with social interaction and communication. The disorder also includes limited and repetitive behavioral patterns. I am aware that resources provided to families with autistic children, may not be as extensive in Ghana as they are in more developed countries. The level of stigmatization associated with it, doesn’t make the situation easier to cope with either.
I didn’t know being up close with a child with autism would spark all kinds of questions, relating to pain, suffering, uncertainty and salvation. Ever since I volunteered at an autistic center for children in 2020, I have never been able to wrap my head this developmental disability. Disability. It feels wrong ascribing that to anyone’s child.
Some of the children I encountered at the center didn’t speak. Majority of them looked completely blanked out, fixated on something. Kuukua, for example, stared at the floor very often, and I couldn’t help but wonder what was going through her mind; what was going through all of their minds.
Questioning the Place of Suffering
I can’t help but think of God’s ultimate purpose and glory in such moments. This is especially true of nonspeaking autistic children.
My mind is filled with so many questions.
What are they thinking, feeling, seeing, perceiving? Are their thoughts even ‘higher’ than my own? Maybe they are even receiving the depth and weight of God’s majesty that I could never comprehend and explain due to this very limiting language. Maybe.
Are they judged differently? Are they not judged at all? If their consciousness is not like most people’s, and following Christ is an active decision that involves your mind, heart and soul, are they never saved? Are they able to comprehend the idea of morality and holiness? Do they know way more than I could ever know?
I can’t imagine the amount of patience a parent must have to nurture a child with this condition. Or the span of attention to be mustered everyday by parents to love them like God’s love.
What if my child becomes autistic? Of course, God forbid it, but didn’t parents with autistic children say that too? I salute every parent who is coping with this. Is this considered a weight to carry? Is it wrong to call your child a weight? I have thought about my capacity to love a child with a disability and not grumble once.
God’s Plan
I think this post in particular is to remind us of the things we may not have answers to; the things that seem unfair and incomprehensible.
The presence of pain and suffering does not dispute God’s sovereignty and goodness. Though the sovereignty of God allows Him to ordain sin, He neither commits sin, approves of it or can be blamed for it. It’s hard to wrap your head around, isn’t it? The complexity of God’s nature is also not easily understandable. If it were, it would be safe to equate God to man, who is very predictable. Our minds tell us that all forms of suffering should be destroyed now. However, there is an appointed when all forms of unrighteousness will be no more. When our hearts ache at the sight of suffering it is because we too desire goodness. Unfortunately, our yearning of a world devoid of pain, can’t be found in our present age.
Our world is prone to immense suffering and pain, which we would all experience in some form. This is not to wish calamity on anyone, but more so to prompt us that there is an intended end. If not in this lifetime, definitely in the one that await us. We may not be able to understand some of the things we experience, but we can be assured that God can work it for good. “All we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose” – Romans 8:28.
God is good. Therefore whatever He does is the representation of goodness. Not only can He work out our situations for good, but our circumstances allow us to build character. ‘We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation’ – Romans 5:3-4.
Our One Hope
Despite the assurance of God’s goodness that is capable of working for us, it still doesn’t make me blind to the pain and suffering of the world. Sin’s entry exposed all of humanity to the decay of sickness, strife and death. As a result we are living lives filled with affliction.
These insufficient words can’t do justice to explain the extent of God’s mystery and the place of suffering. Nevertheless, I do hope I can point you to a hope that is not present on this earth. For, the world is passing away, along with it’s desires; along with its pain.
All the questions I posed on nonspeaking autistic children, cause tears to well up in my eyes. I am not exactly sure what for. Maybe if I cry loud enough all the pain and suffering that goes on in this world will come to an end. In moments like these, I know there is only one hope. I want to rest in the promise of the new earth that is to come. Where there will be no pain, mourning, crying death. All I can then cry is, “Maranatha, Maranatha”. All I can cry now is, ‘O Lord, Come’, with my Hands Lifted High.